Issues with Teenagers Can Be Resolved
DENVER, Jan. 26, 2012 -- Are your teens driving you crazy?Dr. Roger Frame, a family conflict expert and "The Conflict Whisperer"® says, "One style of conflict management for all situations is no more appropriate than one style of clothing for all situations. Just as you wouldn't wear a bikini to your prom, or your wedding dress to work in the garden, your conflict resolution strategy must reflect the people and the situation engaged in the interaction. You need to select the appropriate carving tool to accomplish your objectives."
"There is nothing like parenthood to teach humility," said Dr. Frame, noted school psychologist and author of Don't Carve the Turkey with a Chainsaw: Resolving Family Conflict. The book reveals and sharpens the tools you need to resolve family conflict and provides tips to talk with teenagers as well as effectively communicate with spouses and children. For information, go to http://www.RogerFrame.com.
"Conflict is not based on objective reality, but on a person's interpretation of that reality," said Dr. Frame, who speaks and consults on handling family conflict issues as well as resolving business conflicts.
He observes that people interpret reality differently depending on their interests, background and experiences. Generally, people listen to information that confirms their beliefs, and discount information that contradicts it. Even when you are engaged in the same conversation, the parent may be talking about mowing the lawn, with the goal of instilling responsibility, while their child is talking about being with their friends with the goal of independence.
In his book, Dr. Frame discusses how to help parents of teenagers, and why power struggles frequently escalate during the teen years. Key points include:
- Power struggles are not just about independence
- Critical thinking skills are not fully developed until the mid 20s
- Neurological changes are occurring that affect adolescent behavior
- Parents should try to stay personally involved without taking irritating behavior personally
"At a time when risk taking and stimulation seeking are rapidly increasing, our teen's ability to pay attention, set priorities, consider consequences, and inhibit impulses normally develops more slowly. It is only complete in the mid twenties," he said. "It is not an accident that many car rental companies in the US will not rent to people younger than 25 years of age."
At the same time that hormones are kicking in, the brain synapses that connect brain cells are being pruned.
"Think about how bushes look when they are pruned. While it is necessary in the long run, holes appear short term!" he added. "Other changes make the nerve pathways more efficient. The whole process is not a nice steady improvement, and this has major implications for dealing effectively with teens."
Dr. Frame's book doesn't just focus on teen issues. It also delivers powerful tips and techniques to enhance communication between couples.
Dr. Frame offers these conflict resolution tips:
- Conflict is not based on reality but on a person's interpretations of that reality
- You must understand what is behind a person's position before you can find the best solution to the problem
- When presenting your case, start with the facts, not your interpretation of the facts
About Dr. Roger Frame
Dr. Roger Frame, President of Frameworks 4 Learning, has a wealth of experience in a variety of settings. He has presented over 230 workshops across the United States with excellent reviews. These were sponsored by State and National professional associations, State Departments of Education, Universities, businesses, school systems, churches, and training organizations. Currently his presentations and consultations focus on resolving interpersonal conflict, defusing power struggles, bully prevention in schools and at work, and classroom behavior management. Previously, Dr. Frame provided training, sales, and technical support for The Psychological Corporation and Harcourt Assessment customers. He has also served as a therapist in private practice for ten years, a school psychologist, a child abuse prevention Project Director, and Visiting Assistant Professor.
Dr. Frame was the President of the Florida Society of Psychotherapists. He received his Ph.D. from Michigan State University. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a Professional Special Services License-School Psychologist in Colorado.
SOURCE Dr. Roger Frame
